Some good comments, some good questions.
Heard from God two days ago. He simply showed me to read Isaiah 51. I’ve perused it. Will probably look at it in depth again.
I’m somewhat apathetic right now because I’m unemployed and can’t find too much in my field; useless without a license and at least a M.A. / M. S. degree.
Questions arose in comments as to why I was going to Opus Dei meetings but not speaking to anyone there. Firstly, I’ve got to know someone there otherwise I wouldn’t know when meetings and recollections are. I know a numerary (right term?), one of those celibate members, and I know her from OD first, and University second; she works at the university and I attended it.
Why don’t I have a spiritual director? I began discernment late last July, and when school started I honestly thought I was smart enough to land myself a spot as a graduate student in a psychology PhD program. That bottomed out in April this spring as I got several rejections. I thought that if spiritual directors were “life coaches” for one’s soul, there was little point in finding one in September when I might have to pull up roots and go to the PhD program in Davis or Riverside or Santa Barabra. Sisters and others that I talked to seemed to agree; the LA Archdiocese women’s vocation director seemed to as well.
I still don’t know where I am going for grad school as I have an application pending still and will not hear from them for at least another month; know, however, that I have tentatively accepted a state school for a M.A. program in psychology.
That’s why I don’t have spiritual director.
Why do you enjoy participating in Opus Dei activities? I enjoy most Catholic activities, if they are filled with faith and a deep reverence and belief that Christ actually exists; the kind of faith that admits there is a Purgatory, a Heaven, and Hell. So, why do I like this kind of faith, and the life of Opus Dei members, probably because the nature of Christ’s and St. Josemaria’s teachings ask that they actually live it out. That it’s a part of who they are and its not swept under the rug when company comes over. Faith, as I’ve seen it in OD and in the religious life, is not a trifling matter. Maybe I’ve seen and lived with those who take faith as a trifling matter too long.
Is that enjoyment possibly a sign that God is leading you in that direction? Sure, anything’s possible. I don’t believe in concoidences.
If you are participating in their activities, why haven’t you talked with an Opus Dei priest or numerary? I have through confession. I have talked with other priests (not OD) and vocation directresses and such many times over. Some express doubt, others don’t say much at all.
Is the fact that you haven’t talked to one a sign that God is not leading you in that direction? or you just did not think of having an Opus Dei spiritual director and are thinking of it still? I’m waiting for my academic life to come into focus. What is the point of having a spiritual director in Los Angeles if I’m down in Long Beach, or vice versa? I have to wait for the dust to settle before making a decision. Indecision is my companion.