One of those days ….

It’s just one of those days when your coping mechanism runs out, in this case a pack of chewing gum. I bought it on friday, and somehow it lasted me the weekend.

Now though, I don’t have any gum and I’ve long since quit biting my nails … so I’m left with all this tension because I refuse to give in ….. okay, so I give in every half hour or so … but that’s still progress. On the other hand, the longer I hold out, the more likely I am to resort to other things like skin picking, scratching, or digging my nails into my palms. All because I only learned one behavior modification technique five years ago when I quit therapy.

I should have bought gum at lunch time.

I thought I had one piece left.

Normally I’d just go at it, but there’s lots more people around me than I usually allow there to be when I do it. I mean, there’s a difference to being in the center of the room and visible from the line of people waiting for a computer than there is to being tucked in a corner or against the wall so people can’t see me as well.

If this is what one day is like, then October 1-7th is gonna be the pits. I don’t know if I can go a whole week like this, but then maybe I’d actually remember to buy gum.

The tension from my homework is kind of gone now because I’ve replaced it with tension and a sense of powerlessness since I don’t have my chewing gum.

Honestly, you don’t know how I feel. Yet, these people do.

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3 Replies to “One of those days ….”

  1. I actually spent two hours today just living life while repeating (in my mind) a constant litany of “Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy”. It was an interested and uplifting experience. It had the pleasant side effect of reducing distraction and temptation immensely, but the unpleasant side effect of pissing off one or more demons who went after me when I finished. Thank God for Mary and St. Michael!So yeah, I dunno, hopefully something works for you.

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