I always knew it would be tough. I did not expect to feel like my heart had been torn out.
Remember that meeting I went to in Ann Arbor in November? Well I met a sister there and she recently emailed me about a retreat for the last week of June. It’s for women like me who are thinking about but are uncertain of religious life.
The long awaited vocation story:
I never once thought in all the time of my childhood or adolescence that I would be where I am today. It wasn’t even really permitted – to think of religious life: poverty, chastity, and obedience in the service of God. I cannot take credit for anything other than my “Yes” to God nearly four years ago. It had been in private prayer to God when I came across a psalm verse that stated that God will fulfill His promise when we keep our vows. I promised to Him then and there, before I ever became aware of the import of my prayer, that He could use me however He wanted, whenever He wanted.
While there were many people who pointed me over the past four years towards religious life, there are a few who stand out the most. These are not the people who said “Megan, you look like a nun” or stated “You sound like a nun,” or even “God’s army needs you.” No. There are people who have shown me in their life, in their taking and living of religious vows what it means to see Christ in other people. The greatest example I have personally experienced of that level of love and sacrifice can only come from a true zeal for Souls. A friend of mine, Fr. Aaron Kuhn, was not the one to say that I looked or sounded like a nun. He’s witnessed religious life and the suffering love that is so inherently desirable. If there were to be one ideal, one moment that could be taken to say that encouraged and demonstrates the very nature of vocation – it is that he cared for a person and a soul that he had not met and barely knew. As he has written recently, “These moments carry heavy opportunities to love, to suffer in humility, in magnanimity, in charity, to follow Christ as he is misunderstood, slandered, and crucified.”
I do not know where my “Yes” and my Love for God will take me; I don’t know where Christ is leading me, but I know that He has me by the hand. I know that He’ll teach me an ever increasing Love and Zeal for Souls. He has led me to a spiritual Home here with the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. For it is here with the Sisters of Mary that I will be daily impacting Eternity through supplication, praise, and belongingness. As Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta stated, “I belong to Jesus. He must have the right to use me without consulting me. The very life of our vocation is belonging and being used.” A Bride stands beside her Divine Spouse; they endure all things together.
I’ve been listed and started to work with the Laboure Society to pay off my student loans. But hold your horses – not everything is fully set up just yet.