what it takes

to feel better: lots of time sitting alone. Quietly.  Lots and lots of time.  

I spent time alone yesterday and today.  I feel less exhaustion, but everything else remains the same.  Ate one meal today: 2 home made pork tamales, handful of dried blueberries & 2 Lindt chocolates.  Spending what must be the 4th week with the heating pad through the night.  Last night was nasty, I couldn't sleep much at all, and my back was all whacked out.
I'm okay with wherever this is taking me.  I don't have to fight it.