I’ve been struggling with this one thing:

Gripping

If I really trust in God, would I gripe as much as I do? Is it a sign of distrust if I tell someone that I’m struggling financially, or that I learned this weekend that a friend who does not have a college education or actively spend time through employment ensuring that others live, whereas I have sunk myself into debt to specifically do that? Am I being ungrateful, or just plainly (and painfully?) truthful? 

I have reached a point today to where I have been left with nothing other than to laugh because I cannot afford at this moment to feed me, let alone you, or purchase gas (which is why missing Mass this morning may not have been a terrible thing because I would have needed to cancel three different clients; a side note, need to write a post about my work one day), or pay bills. Despite knowing I will be paid tomorrow, it will go away, and I’m back to pinching pennies. I’m the person who pays $2.04 at the McD window knowing that I’ll get 95Cents. 

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