Pain in Color

You’ve probably heard of the fascinating experience and phenomenon of Synesthesia. I’m been thinking about what it would be like to see colors with particular words, or have sounds that have precise matching tastes. Why? Well, I have on-going back pain that is in my upper back. Following the car accident last March, I’ve had additional pain which led to a pinched nerve. Since the nerve pain became unbearable in August, I’ve had a few sessions of physical therapy, which I abandoned since each session was followed by several days of migraine and excruciating pain. Today, for the first time in several months, I had a a back massage.



I was having a pretty good time for the first several minutes, gazing at the wall painted a pretty blue. Then, my vision had morphing asymmetrical bloobs of:



Not at all disconcerting! I see yellow everywhere, every day. Sheesh. We/I/She found a ball of muscle that was wrapped around the effected nerve that’s pinched. Working on it resulted in an all-day headache, soreness, and a strong desire to pass out: I had shooting pain & numbness I could feel all the way into my finger tips and the nail bed of my thumb. To my dismay, I scheduled a follow-up for next week. I guess seeing yellow is better than not sleeping at night or being unable to carry things.


Me vs Roomie

I cleaned kitchen and 1 furball’s cage. I made bread, and remembered to take chicken out of freezer. I hiked 4.53mi in two hours exactly. Got home to bake said bread, cook/roast said chicken.

She’s struggling not to be depressed & spent the day in bed. Please pray for her.

I’m not trying to sound cruel, I’ve had my share of clinical depression, anxiety and quasiPTSD. I worked on my stuff to take back control of my life, and figured out what parts of my life God totally owns.

Not frugal dinner

Sorry, but I’m sick of ramen until Friday when I have to consume it again (abstinence from meat easier than Vatican II prescriptions).

I got bratwurst, various ales & stouts, and “roasted garlic” cheddar. Perfect for tomorrow after TLM (Tridentine Latin Mass) for feast of Assumption of Momma Mary. Plus, have an out-of-town friend to treat; home-cooked is a treat for any bachelor. Don’t get any ideas!

Nice stouts & ales from Cost Plus/World Market. Cheese is cheaper there, and from red velvet pancake mix too! I feel like a kid in there. I’m delightfully girly today with an organic strawberry ale. Not for long though as I’m going clubbing on Friday & looking forward to the whiskey, just no Jack please (JD is vile bile, and he ain’t no “gentleman” either).

RIP Rita

When Sammy died in early May, I got Rita soon after. The empty cage full of rodent toys mocking me from it’s corner.


She was my wee furry acrobat, climbing and swinging just like Sammy had. Rita, nervous & timid, brown with a white patch on head & tummy; passed away between 2pm – 7pm. She wasn’t ill or injured, her cagemate Rachel isn’t aggressive.


Rita & Samuel can keep each other company in heaven.


I miss my munchkin. = (


is a brain on mutiny, cramming and screaming against the skull.


I started getting migraines nearly a decade ago, and they used to be really bad. I would get them during mid-terms, final exams, and other routinely stressful events in college. I never thought much about it, considered it normal. I remember several study sessions where I would have to discreetly stack the 20 books and psychological journals I had found (hoping the student workers wouldn’t return them to the shelf), scurry down 9 floors to the bathroom and try not to dry heave. Yay nausea! Every semester and mid-term for 4 years of undergrad and 2 years of grad school were just like this.


Somewhere along the way I learned this wasn’t normal and that I didn’t have to put up with these shenanigans.  I think it was somewhere along the time of taking over 1000mg of Excedrin not working, 100mg of Naproxen Sodium barely works, too (like today). One time I took about 37mg of Vicodin (split a 75mg pill) and that worked for the pain, hell on the nausea (I felt like I was at sea in my bed!).

I’ve tried Imitrex, but if I’m laid up in bed (like now) with a heating pad on my neck due to the tight neck, back, and jaw muscles, why would I want to double my pain by taking Imitrex? Yet I did for the past two years. I finally stopped taking it this past fall.  Currently I work through the pain. I get up and go to work. Only about once every six months do I get to the point of cancelling afternoon sessions, swallow back the nausea and curl up in bed. I think I’ve been in pain for 12 hours now. I have had 3 “naps” this afternoon, and I’m so exhausted just from the pain alone. Even the furballs notice that tonight is different, since they’re not getting scooped up and allowed to run around.  As soon as I kick my shrink to the curb, I’m gonna go get me a neurologist, since I’m getting migraine symptoms without the migraines. =0) Life is fun.