It’s just one of those days when your coping mechanism runs out, in this case a pack of chewing gum. I bought it on friday, and somehow it lasted me the weekend.
Now though, I don’t have any gum and I’ve long since quit biting my nails … so I’m left with all this tension because I refuse to give in ….. okay, so I give in every half hour or so … but that’s still progress. On the other hand, the longer I hold out, the more likely I am to resort to other things like skin picking, scratching, or digging my nails into my palms. All because I only learned one behavior modification technique five years ago when I quit therapy.
I should have bought gum at lunch time.
I thought I had one piece left.
Normally I’d just go at it, but there’s lots more people around me than I usually allow there to be when I do it. I mean, there’s a difference to being in the center of the room and visible from the line of people waiting for a computer than there is to being tucked in a corner or against the wall so people can’t see me as well.
If this is what one day is like, then October 1-7th is gonna be the pits. I don’t know if I can go a whole week like this, but then maybe I’d actually remember to buy gum.
The tension from my homework is kind of gone now because I’ve replaced it with tension and a sense of powerlessness since I don’t have my chewing gum.
Honestly, you don’t know how I feel. Yet, these people do.