Holy Doors of Mercy | Catholic Pilgrimage Sites

https://catholicpilgrimagesites.wordpress.com/holy-doors-of-mercy/

List of US Catholic Churches with a Holy door / door of Mercy; good for the jubilee year.

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Damage Control

I can handle instigating if it means others have sanity.  But triggering myself that’s an emotional event I tend to avoid.  I know that I need what I did on Divine Mercy Sunday; I cried from 11pm all the way through 4pm.  I was able to do that because it was completely dark and others didn’t focus on me at all.  Not sure I’ll need 5 hours, but … eh maybe getting more than 4 hours of sleep would work better for the moment.

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In other news, 1-403-896-9013 stop texting me!

Without Mercy

Holy Mother, pierce me through,
In my heart each wound renew
Of my Saviour crucified.

It’s a neat and tidy little verse, isn’t it? Short, but not so sweet.

Prayer is so different for me these days. It’s not dry, but it’s not blossoming either. As many know, this verse is part of a prayer to the Five Wounds of Christ that I prayed in novena fashion before telling my mother on Sunday, June 14th at 4:25pm that I was interested in religious life. I knew that I was not going to be received warmly by my own mother, hence what was the point in asking for Mercy? Instead I requested that my heart bear all the wounds of our Precious Lord’s own Heart. My heart would become His; my blood be replaced by His; words, thoughts, intentions, etc. All were to be replaced with His.

Careful. Be ever careful of what your soul says to God. Do not hinder your Soul, but be ever aware, and prepare yourself as best as you can. You ask to be put on the frontlines, you will be there. You will not be relieved from your duty until you languish and your soul faints. I have physically fainted once, and I can now also say that I know what it is to have your soul feel fatigued and faint.

Sometimes I get pulled from the front lines for a week, other times just a half hour. It is not pleasant when I have to leave the security of the camp and plunge headlong into the front lines, but I did not ask for Mercy. The moment one task is done I am handed another. Consolation is few and far between; oh the sweetness of it!

Truly, hands that are not my own grasp my heart, and hand the heart over to the Lord. She offers it to Him and He’s taken it. How torn it is, I don’t know, but I know that it is.

As a mother rocks a child to comfort and soothe, so has the Spirit rocked me.

Divine Mercy

I have been thinking about the Divine Mercy recently. Others have been writing about it in their posts and I was so enamored with it when I was first directed towards it last year. While I found it easy to adapt to the Rosary beads and the new prayers, I have since found the simplicity of the of the decade bead prayers to be full of depth.

A long while has passed since the last time I found prayer painful. In fact, when I did used to find prayer painful it was because I despised God, so this kind of pain is not related.

Perhaps pain is not the right word to use, but I also cannot say that the pain dwells only in my soul. Maybe it’s the closest we can get to begging God without actually begging, although I certainly have done that!

But I really need to go, I have a paper due on Thursday and I am merely procrastinating here while I conjucture what it is that I feel each time I pray the Divine Mercy. All I know is that I avoid it. Prayed the DM yesterday with a group before the Blessed Sacrament and before the first ‘decade’ I was so close to tears that I could hardly finish the decade. If it hadn’t been for the recitation of the group I do not think I would have finished praying it on my own.

have you ever encountered similar problems in prayer?