The Problem with Roommates

I used to be friends with my current roommate: go out clubbing, dinners together, drunk shopping, etc. We were good enough friends to think that moving into an apartment would be okay. I’m sure you’re shaking your heads by now!

I think the charm lasted about a month: she came home at reasonable times, her boyfriend came by but kept it decent, she washed and put away her dishes. Then she began to stay away more evenings than she slept in her own bed, would not take out the trash or even replace the bag.

She used me for therapy on more than one occasion, until I switched it up on her – I don’t work with adults for a reason: all therapeutic suggestions I made were based on what I would do at work (i.e. collages, art, symbolism, playdoh) and she stopped asking. I told her that she needs to find her own therapist; she complained about the cost until I pointed out to her that she can find someone covered by her plan, which was met with more hemming and hawing. As of last month she was having arguments with her boyfriend, shouting about how she’s not using him as her therapist. I turned on the white noise machine after that.

You’ve heard the story of the chunky mold in the soda can, right? Well, you have if you’re an in-the-flesh friend or coworker. I cleaned the den, kitchen, my bathroom from floor to ceiling; while I was sorting the recycleables, a can from her room felt like it was full of liquid, so I tried to dump it in the sink…chunky green mold.

We had a talk about many things after that weekend: she needs to tell me about the electricity and internet bills (her response, why didn’t you bring this up before? Doll, it’s your bill, therefore your responsibility) . Or taking out the trash – which she still doesn’t do. Airing out her room ….nope hasn’t worked on that either. She wants to move out on her own – but she’s never been on her own even when she has her own place; instead spends a lot of time with whoever’s her boyfriend at the moment.

Leaves me in a pickle since I can’t afford this place on my own, unless I eat Ramen every day. She says she won’t leave me stranded, but seriously? I’ve heard “I’ll clean” and “I’ll air it out” &c.  She suddenly wants to help me and list the place on Craigslist. But when we moved in here, she dragged her feet and couldn’t get the last place cleaned (whoops?) without requesting an additional week. I don’t have those kinds of funds – to pay rent on one place as I move my stuff out and put a deposit on a new one.

What’s it take to find a clean and respectful roommate?