Feast of the Assumption

How I’ve come to love Mary. I had a ponderous moment at Mass about all the people God’s goodness on this day, and Mary’s promise to us: that He will glorify us after resurrection, and she will intercede.

She’s alive in Heaven with Christ, Enoch, Elijah and the heavenly Hosts of the Lord. I’m kind of jealous of my guardian angel since he/she sees this reality, and I can only hope for it.

I didn’t make fancy blue desserts, but I enjoyed this (G.K. Chesterson style):



Foot cramps are some of the most annoying things.

I’m tired as all get-out.  Friday evening into Saturday morning: sleep got worse the more that I prayed for it to come.  Saturday evening, I slept a bit better, but I still woke up 30 minutes before necessary.  I also encountered some spiritual attacks akin to September 2009.  I’ve since doused the room and bed in holy water, I just need to get my hands on some exorcised salt.

I learned that the blessing is gone from a Rosary if it is broken and not repaired; that it needs to be disassembled and buried.  What about when the beads on the rose petal Rosary shatter and fall off? The beads were replaced, so now what?

Bought two books on Mary today.  One is an illustrated prayer book; I am His Child, and if I need pictures to help me out, so be it.  It’s terrible, trying to learn about Mary and have her be my Momma when I can scarcely figure out my own mother, how to get her to want me as me, and not as her creature.  The other is titled Mary of Nazareth, which is proving to be simply clear and informative.  No fancy words, just saying it plainly with Scripture.  Hopefully I’ll find this information more human and connective.  Although there was a great book I saw in the parish bookstore a few weeks back that looks really interesting: The Life of Mary: As Seen by the Mystics. Perhaps in a few months?

Speaking with good spiritual friends recently has helped me keep my chin up.  I may be tired, sleep deprived, and not eating all three meals per day, but it will come to pass.  I spent the morning at Mass, an hour on the phone, and spent the majority of the day teaching a different class for Confirmation – they were lacking an adult leader so I got switched out.  Its neat to know that some of the difficulties I have to teaching my kids are personality differences and attitude, since the group I taught today was small, but we were all good and nice to each other.  It was different.  Not every class is like mine; that’s one of many things I got out of today.

Another was the offer to spend a week in a good family home, and a good Catholic one at that.  I wish I could accept it.  I spend so much time outside of my home, just to get away that I have incurred plenty of examples of good Christian homes.  I get to know that not all parents shout and yell in arguments to the extent that you wish and wish to fly away out of the house.  I get to see people who actually show chaste affection rather than just coolness or a weird short burst of cuteness (weird – as it’s out of character and only a few months per year rather than daily affection).  Perhaps one of these days.  This is one of my aims in entering therapy – wanting to learn to switch from the ways I’ve been taught, to the right path; otherwise I’ll enter and leave religious life angry and confront people wrongly.  Subversive living is adaptive at home and it kills vocations in religious life.

How am I supposed to learn how it is to have a Mother?

Last Friday I went with the South Bay Young Adults group to St. Catherine de Laboure Church to hear a member of the MI (Militia of the Immaculata) speak about the group. The topic of the night was to be “Why do we love our Lady” but instead seemed to turn into a promotion of th MI. Perhaps that was unintentional; I don’t know.

The women who came a spoke were very nice and kind, I do think they were sincere. However, the ways in which they spoke of Mary was toeing the line: suggesting that she was higher or some how more worthy than Christ.

St. Maximilian Kolbe is quoted on the front cover of their pamphlet: To lead every individual with Mary to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I find it very unique that the Saint proposes that we are not lead to Mary, but with Mary to Christ Jesus. This suggests that we all implore and praise God alone.

To directly quote the MI as to their purpose:

[…] is a worldwide evangelizations movement founded by St. Maximillian Kolbe in 1917. It encourages a total consecration to Mary Immaculate as a means of spiritual renewal for individuals and society.
Marian consecration in the MI is a formal act of self-giving that does not stop at Mary, but is Christ-directed. It is really a consecration to Jesus. […]

The MI employs prayer as the main weapon in the spiritual battle with evil. MIs also immerse themselves in apostolic initiatives throughout society, either individually or in groups, to deepen the knowledge of the Gospel and our Catholic Faith in themselves and others.
By joining the MI, members become willing instruments of Our Lady, the handmaid of the Lord and the immaculate instrument of God. You become a member of an international movement sharing in the maternal mission of Mary, the conversion and sanctification of all souls. The goals of the MI are personal sanctification, the conversion of the world, and ultimately the universal reign of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
The MI is one of the few Vatican-approved public associations whose mission, like that of the Cathlic Church, is universal. Although the MI is open to Catholics only, it encourages all people of good will to develop a trusting relationship with our Lady.

I have an issue with “members become willing instruments of Our Lady.” It is St. Francis of Assissi who tells us to be instrument of our Lord, not Mary. Just as we are like clay in the hands of the Lord, so too are we to be used by the Lord for the fulfillment of His will (Jer. 18:6).

I want to make clear that not in any way am I saying that the whole of the MI is wrong, but that some members may enjoin themselves so close to Mary that they don’t look beyound her. I know that we need to honor Mary and love her as our Lord’s Mother. However I want to caution the thought that without Mary’s “yes” there would be no salvation in Christ on the Cross. I think that honor and praise of Mary could literally turn into worship of Mary if one begins to think that Mary is the source of Christ (per His conception and birth) and hence salvation would come from her.

Prayer Request

I usually say a daily Rosary for vocations each morning in the car, however this past friday I said it in the afternoon. I could not finish the Rosary in my usual course; it had switched from vocations to the state of the Roman Catholic Church and the Archdiocese of Los Angeles in particular. I started crying and begging Mary and Jesus to protect and intercede on behalf the archdiocese as it under her patronage (Our Lady of Angeles ~ Los Angeles).

I cannot convey with words the urgency I felt about this change in prayer. It still feels “now or never.”

There are changes occuring in the LA Archdiocese:

  • Mahony is not liturgically “correct”
  • the huge settlement for the sexual abuse lawsuit has to be funded
  • selling convents to pay off the settlement
  • selling the Wilshire buildings that houses Archdiocese offices including Vocations, to pay off the settlement as well
  • Sr. Kathy Bryant is leaving her post as Vocations Director

However, aside from these changes I sense through prayer an impending spiritual trial that will challenge the LA Archdiocese.