Get used to the elevator music.
I’ve been studying for my LCSW exam. I want to take the law and ethics portion as soon as it’s available in January 2016, then the clinical portion sometime in the spring. I put off getting the license because I thought I’d be in the convent by now. One of the ways I’m motivating myself too study is by only sewing on the weekends if I’ve converted and can explain a new study area/chapter. Initially there was a decrease in all frivolous ventures which led to unrelenting anxiety. Therefore no moratoriums on leisure.
Teaching myself embroidery has led to this:
Secondly, I’m job hunting. I’m interested in places that are partially clinic based, and less field time (so damn tired of driving everywhere). I still want to work among the low SES population, and continue developing my bilingual skills (I’m frustrated by it, yet have some ego employed in the venture). A diversity of cases should be available in the position, which has led to applications filed with the VA, substance abuse, eating disorders, &c. Since there’s no convent in my near future, I need a career, not a passing job position, which is the state I’m currently in. I asked for a raise in October and was told “We’ll see.” This is corporate-ese for “No.” My supervisor is a aware of my hunting, having been listed as a reference. This is about being able to have savings, put food on the table AND live comfortably. To be able not only to take time off from work, but afford going somewhere! I haven’t been on a vacation in more than four years, and the vacations I’m referring to were camping trips.
Twenty-nine years ago today, I was born. From what I hear, that was quite an event, lots of to-do about a wee little me. I was 2.2 lbs. I’m about 118lbs heavier now.
When I started working, and especially since moving out, I give myself the gift of not working on or near the date of my birthday. Two years ago I went hiking at Switzer’s Falls in the Angeles Forest when it was (surprise!) raining and some snow flurries that melted within a hour. Last year I went on a silent retreat for a day, and this year I went to Switzer’s Falls again. The restrooms were closed and the information kiosk wasn’t selling adventure passes, so a really nice couple gave me their annual pass! The fall colors were still putting on a show, and there were people around, but not so many that there weren’t extended periods of alone time. I returned in time for therapy & dinner at home; then went out to the Yardhouse in Long Beach with some grad school friends & coworkers. Some of them re-gifted items to me (i.e. no original packaging, things are not correctly itemized in the packaging).
Today I went to Mass, came home and excitedly read a letter that had arrived yesterday from the monastery. I was told that after “much prayer” that God “isn’t calling you to our Carmel”. Lovely news to read on my birthday. But I went on with my day, buying a gift for mom’s birthday, some errands and a late lunch with friends at Versailles, a Cuban restuarant. Now, i’m doing laundry. Might do some sewing later. Mom’s birthday was on Thursday, and she controls the birthday weekend: her cake, her time, her location, etc. I had to ask Dad if he/they wanted my birthday gift suggestions, and he was “Uh, what?” Like, hello, it’s my birthday, too. Anyway, my family is crazy.
I’m thinking about it; I’m never really certain.
- black knee-high boots (my current pair is 2+years old and literally has holes in the soles)
- brown knee-high boots (ibid)
- knee length forest green circle skirt
- Josh Groban’s CD: “All that Echoes”
Why am I not certain? Whatever’s not usurped in November gets to be under the tree on Christmas. I hate getting jewelry; I have no room, literally no room for new clothes. I don’t have time to read the countless books I do have on my shelf.
On the day after Thanksgiving, I went out to the South Coast Botanical Garden since I had been aching to take photos, and needed to get out of the house. An acquaintance of mine from other hiking trips has a gorgeous camera and is able to take professional quality landscape panoramics. So, with his images feeding my itchy fingers, and mom’s sour mood driving me from the house, I took to the Garden.
About 30 minutes into the park, I was photographing a borage bush that coincidentally had a bee on it. Well, Mr. Bee decided to fly at me, and thinking it went up my sleeve, I did my bee dance and dropped the camera with the lens fully extended. [Insert woeful face here]
These are the photographs before the bee incident.
In the Rose Garden
Fuchsia in a Hanging Basket
Daisy in the Volunteer Garden
Peppers in the Volunteer Garden
Lily of Some Sort
Coral and Pink hued daisies
I missed my extra hour of sleep, because I was worried about missing Mass.
Birthdays went very smoothly yesterday; someone was very heavily medicated. I toed the line a few times, and barely got a look. But it’s fake, its a veneer. Some things were said in jest and if it weren’t for the meds, lolz. She just about flipped her biscuit when my sister joked that she and ‘T’ were considering certain things for when they get married. Holy friggs, the look on her face, you could see the meds working overtime, like a switch flipped. At least I didn’t get any crap this time about not having a boyfriend; I got jabs over not having a job, though. Not sure which one is worse. Just a few more days to go until the actual birthdays pass, then we can all let down the guard a bit.
—Post Edited 11/07 at 3:27pm —
What a weekend. I’m tired. Can I get a do-over?
This is one weekend I’m really glad that I don’t have to teach.