A Response

I sent an email to mother superior of a particular monastery. I didn’t hear anything, so I wrote a letter on the 6th; I had wanted to attend daily Mass at my more-local parish, but they were closed for the day. Anyway, I sent a letter, it is to the letter that mother superior responded. She told me in her response back that she has an email address. Oh, I know! However she requested that I call the Novice Mistress and provide information on good times to have a conversation.

This could go so many ways!

I’ve been praying about how to respond in the written form. Speaking …. sheesh. I don’t like speaking on the phone. Perhaps more immediately is the difficulty of the summer schedule – my hours are all messy. I have parents who haven’t scheduled sessions yet for this week.

Prayers would be appreciated. This is the only community at this moment with whom I’m beginning communication & discernment.

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Oh, St. Joseph!

Do you have an absolute favorite saint?

Perhaps you pray to him/her, wear their medal & frequently ask help.

And there’s the other saint who surprises you.

Seemingly out of nowhere.

My favorites are Ss. Anthony, Benedict & Michael

I ask help of some additional ones like St Dr Guiseppe Moscati

And, there’s St. Joseph.

He’s so quiet – literally in the Gospels; only sometimes being addressed in private devotions. Over the years, I’ve read many stories about the miraculous staircase to the nun’s choir loft, of real estate breakthroughs, jobs found, etc. I never really understood it, how do you get attached to a Saint of which you have no personal reflections? No writings? Almost no presence? Does it not strike anyone else of how funnily he’s absent from the Gospels and we know nothing after the Angel tells him the Child is in danger? Yet, there’s always a statue of him somewhere in every church? He’s hotly contended in tradition: old vs youthful, assumed into heaven or not; how he came to be Mary’s chaste Spouse; so forth.

Years ago, when I was trying to process the reality of my brother’s abortion (my sister & I were informed via her Confirmation letter), I sought the advice of a Christian leader of a student religious group and she wisely suggested naming my brother to make him “more real” and less abstract. The processing stopped there for several years, simply naming him Joseph. But that’s where I got to know St. Joseph. In the past 3-4 years in which I’ve been attending the TLM, I’ve been praying to St  Joseph, asking him help in the grieving and adapting process pertaining to the loss of my brother. I prayed his Litany every Sunday, without fail. Eventually, I came to reflect on more than just the loss of my brother, but on him who is Terror of Demons or Lover of Poverty, and Mirror of Patience. Holy cats, that’s what leaks through the silence surrounding him! There’s also the prayer at the end of the litany asking him to be our lord and protector on earth as he protected the Christ-Child & our Lady; to protect the Church from error.

Now, especially on Sundays, I’ve taken to adding on the prayer to St. Joseph after the Rosary, which is typically for October, but that’s been good overall. And finally, my spiritual director told me I should say a novena for my vocation. He didn’t to whom or any other restrictions. I figured, why create a new devotion when I already one. So I ventured down to the local massive Catholic store and got two prayer cards (size, plastic & weight of a gift card) one from Padre Pio & one from St. Joseph. The St. Joseph one had to be said for 9 mornings which is hard for me to manage because I’m a school-based therapist, my mornings are eat-wash up-drive; they’re not very leisurely. So I messed up, but I put in my nine mornings, and that day (actually about 12 days after starting) someone name-dropped a particular monastery. I put them on the list along with 4 other places that were attractive to me; and narrowed it down to just 2 places during my last meeting with my spiritual director. However, if I’m actually trusting St. Joseph to pick the place for me, why do I have two places listed? A plan b does not say trust!

Nope, just one place. I got impatient with sending Mother Superior an email, so I also sent a hand-written note.

Oh, St. Joseph, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God. I place in you all my interest and desires. Oh, St. Joseph, do help me by your powerful intercession, and obtain for me from your divine Son and spiritual blessings, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. So that, having engaged here below your heavenly power, I may offer my thanksgiving and homage to the most loving of Fathers. Oh, St. Joseph, I never weary contemplating you and Jesus asleep in your arms, I dare not approach while He reposes near your heart. Press Him in my name and kiss His fine head for me and ask Him to return the kiss when I draw my dying breath. St. Joseph, patron of departing souls – pray for us. Amen.

Keeping a Record

I need to keep a record for work of supervisor’s transgressions. I need to be able to edit it on a weekly basis. Seems a blog would be a good place.

  • Thursday September 26th My supervisor stated in front of colleague/roommate and another supervisor “Oh is this your wife” and I restated “No, she’s my roommate.”
  • Friday September 27th I emailed a complaint to supervisor’s supervisor
  • Monday September 30th Supervisor was talked to, written up and shown the email
  • Wednesday October 2nd supervisor asked me if my “intention was for me to get written up?” and “did I think about” the consequences of my actions; did not apologize, and stated “people say that all the time as a joke. It was a joke”. I reiterated it “is illegal” and “inappropriate”, “out of context when consulting with a client” and “embarrassing”.
  • Wednesday October 9th supervisor did not inform me that my supervision was cancelled; she walked over to me and said “Oops, I messed up … no, I didn’t.” Supervisor double-booked my weekly supervision time at 3pm with an interview; did the same thing following Wednesday at October 16th.
  • Friday October 4th Supervisor hung up on when I was calling to consult about a client; claimed to never receive my text message – I can refute this by checking my cell service provider.
  • Monday October 21st During Group Supervision: Supervisor stated I needed to have all 10 packets for the month due in to her by the end of following day, this is a soft deadline that no one else on the therapy team has to comply to; other team members in session were not told to submit by a particular day, and they have less than 10 packets. Other soft deadlines have been established for packets as the 25th, and company hard deadline is the last day of the month.
  • Wednesday October 23rd Supervisor tells me during individual supervision that I’m “snooty” and “maybe this isn’t the right place for you” regarding difficulties with my two laptops not functioning well with the company’s electronic medical record system which runs on Internet Explorer 8 (and the two laptops automatically update; currently running on IE10). I admit that I’m not polite when pressed for a hard deadline which is really a soft-deadline. Supervisor admitted that “[HV] and I decided that everyone should turn in their packets on the Monday before they’re due”. Her job as a supervisor is to inform her team of this decision; She did not. She threatened my job security over notes. Then she proceeded to congratulate me on my billing for the previous week. Supervisor stated “you’re not the only one with skeleton notes” but only tells me “maybe this isn’t the right place for you.” Additionally, supervisor states “You need to find a way to get a new computer” because she’s so intimately acquainted with my finances to tell me what to do with my money right after she threatens to have me fired. Supervisor stated I needed to work on being able to trust her and communicate.
  • supervisor pushes all of us on the team to make more than productivity, which is 1560; I informed supervisor that if I got 19 hours for previous week that I had made productivity; she stated “but you brought everyone else up”. So? if company policy is 1560, then stop talking to me like I’m delinquent for not having some magical number that upper management isn’t concerned with.
  • Monday October 28th, Supervisor stated in group supervision at 9:30am that “packets are due today at noon” which was verified with QA and supervisor’s own supervisor.

Week in Review

  1. To Do lists, when I have something to do, are my best friends … after all my books, of course!
  2. Mr. C – now that was all sorts of inappropriate!  If you hadn’t just been released from the hospital, I’d give you a piece of my mind.  Clients must be reminded that they are clients. I liked medical social work, no one got overly friendly or casual. It was always clear who was who.
  3. Work is a mess.  People not doing paperwork, forging paperwork, etc. Ethical nightmare. I think I have found yet another reason for why they have lost more than 6 social workers in the past 7 months.
  4. Work gave me a migraine today. *Clings to the excedrin bottle for dear sanity*
  5. Michaels & JoAnn’s – you make me nauseous. Stimuli overload.
  6. I like being a Traditional Roman Catholic aka Scrooge; thank you very much!
  7. I feel like upchucking my excedrin
  8. Diggin Up Bones
  9. Thinking I might give Prof C a piece of my mind, and we all know how that will go!  Making me think of Joseph again.  Everything had been nice and neatly tucked away.  Joseph’s one of those people you only think about every once in a while, at certain moments.  Then you want to let them invade your inner world like Dom let Mal into his.  Joseph’s like that, and things don’t seem that strange anymore.  But I wish he was here.  I still think he got lucky though; he got off.  He’s got it good.
  10. To heck with the concert, gonna go do a nice quiet dinner with my friends. Stay indoors, sans parents.
  11. Want to quilt again.
  1. An obligatory comment on the condom snafu in the news media:  His Holiness did not make it ex cathedra.  Secondly, it’s an attempt to imbue some charity into immoral sexual acts: protection of an infected HIV/AIDS person’s sexual partner of choice.  This is not a move towards permitting contraceptives at all; look at the intention: protection from further harm, not avoidance of creating life!
  2. Dicit Dominus: Ego cogito cogitationes pacis, et non afflicitonis: invocabitis me, et  ego exaudiam vos: et reducam captivatem vestram de cunctis locis.
  3. It’s not Christmas yet, so why the music?  Don’t you knuckleheads at the mall understand that Christmas starts on December 25th and extends through the octave until January 6th?  Since I’ll be losing my sanity at the mall with each carol that the speakers pipe in, and I use the music on this blog as typing music, it’s changed for the Advent season.  
  4. Speaking of Advent: it’s the mini-Lent of the Traditional Catholic.  I’m trying to think of what to fast from; might switch to Gregorian chant for the entirety of the 4 weeks.  I’ve a few days to figure this one.
  5. Mrs L, I appreciate what you’re trying to say, but I already know a lot of this.  I’ve been in discernment for 5 years, been accepted to a community and have had to turn it down.  I’m at where I am for a reason; I don’t need to know that reason.  Yes, I’ve read smidgens of the Little Flower, but when God puts you on hold, you learn these lessons anyway.  Being put on hold isn’t that bad: you know you’ll get service eventually, and in the meantime you’re doing small tasks that needed to get done.  I’ll get through eventually.  Heck, it’s nowhere near the difficulty of the Dark Night!
  6. Lastly, happy Solemnity of Christ the King.